My first job was a trial by fire, to this day, that codebase remains the worst and the best codebase I ever had the pleasure of working in.
[...] I hope I can share with you some of its most fun and scary stories.

I mean a database table called calendar. What did it contain? A manually filled-out calendar.
When asking our resident shaman (who went by the name Munch), he informed me that when the calendar runs out we can't login to the system.

😱